Pupil Guide, Part 1

Another posts that follows a thread on the TES Forums tonight. Someone was asking for some examples of common misconceptions (GTP assignment, and a fairly standard question). In response I left a list of genuine and slightly more caustic suggestions. Others followed up with some even better suggestions and I have shamelessly stolen those as well. Rather than attributing comments to individuals, assume the best ones are stolen šŸ™‚

Happy Hippy’s Pupil Guide to ICT Lessons

The ICT suite is a special place in your school. It is a sanctuary where the normal rules do not apply. As you will see, the ICT suite is a bastion of chaos and a source of never-ending entertainment. With a little care and attention you can make ICT lessons something to look forward to, despite the best intentions of any teachers or other meddling adults. Follow the simple instructions below and you will find that school actually can be fun. Who would have believed it?!

Part 1 – Essential Equipment

The Scouts’ motto is ‘Always Be Prepared’. And possibly something about a Dib-Dab. Two great ideas if you ask me. Planning is essential so you must make sure you have all of your necessary equipment with you. For asuccessful ICT lesson you will need the following items:

  • Fizzy drinks, preferably the sticky sugary kind. Coke and Sunny Delight are good examples. Energy drinks such as Red Bull and Kick can be useful too.
  • Sweets – a combination of sticky and hard. Lollipops are great for damaging equipment and those little necklace bead thingies make fantastic weapons.
  • A USB pen – great for all kinds of mischief. You can load them up before hand with MP3s and flash games in case you get bored, load them up during lessons with other people’s MP3s and flash games or you can even try some really clever stuff to do with ‘boot options’ which I’ll talk about later on (and no, I don;t mean Doctor Martens v Caterpillars).
  • A bag, and ideally a big one. Big enough to fit a keyboard in, or even a monitor if you’re feeling lucky. Stick to flatscreens though, the big ones are just too heavy and bulky.
  • A mobile phone. Your school may have banned the use of mobile phones under the pretence that you don’t need them , they are a distraction and they can be stolen. Don’t fall for this, it is part of the conspiracy intended to keep you from having any freedom. Teachers want to control things, including you phoning your mate during his Geography lesson, arranging alibis for skiving off by text message and recording teachers when they get really radged. It is therefore essential that your phone can record audio and video. It should also have Bluetooth. One tip though – you can give your phone a name, but don’t name it ‘Paul’s phone’ (well, not if you;re called Paul. If you;re called Georgina or Andrew this might not be such a bad idea. In fact if there is a Paul in your class that you hate then go for it). Some teachers have been known to use Bluetooth on their computers to scan for other devices and using your name is a dead giveaway. More on this later.
  • Muddy trainers – you should always have a pair of disgustingly muddy trainers with you at all times. Keep them in your bag, it doesn;t matter if they get mud all over your exercise books, it can actually be used to help hide the fact that you did your homework on the bus into school this morning, resting on that ugly kid’s head. That’s assuming you were daft enough to actually do your homework.

Once you have your equipment you’ll need to know how to use it, so tune in next time for part 2.

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